Today is Saint Nicholas’ day. As my name is Nicola, if I were catholic it would be my ‘Name’s day’ as they call it here in Austria. Here a stocking full of goodies is given to the children on the 6th of December. Saint Nick is known worldwide for giving presents and in keeping with my namesake this is my present to you.
Paradoxically I am inviting you to give yourself a gift today. The gift of imagination, let it run wild, let it slowly seep through your rational mind. Play with the following idea. Give yourself 15 minutes of your time to offer yourself something precious.
You don’t have to believe, you are invited to be imaginative…
Your Guardian Angel – if you already know yours then you may skip this bit and go down to the* or just make contact and spend time with it and my gift to you is to simply offer you the reminder to do so. The following is my gift for those who have never been in contact with their angel or have forgotten about it.
At this time of year we hear of Gabriel coming to Mary and giving her rather incredible messages, angels of the heavenly host coming to the shepherds abiding in the fields and that the shepherds were sore afraid. As a child the word ‘sore’ stuck and I was never really ‘into’ angels. On arriving in Austria I discovered that the catholic children here all have a guardian angel and wished a bit I could have one too. We have, all of us, no matter what religion or none, old and young alike. There is a benevolent, loving presence that adores and cares for us and with whom we can go into a personal relationship with. There are so many benevolent presences, the list is endless but I would like to invite you to take time with this one today: your very own personal, loving, protection unit.
I would like you to imagine that you have an angel with you in your room right now. Imagine it: feel it, see it, what colour is it? Does it have a face? You don’t have to see every detail just acknowledge its presence. Wait till it is palpable. Where is it? Right by you? On the other side of the room?
This is not an angel that has come to judge you, it loves you implicitly no matter how bad you think you are, how stupid, lazy or any other idea you have of yourself. It is your very own, personal angel that is there for you day and night. It is NOT far away at the end of some extended line up in space – it is RIGHT HERE WITH YOU NOW. Say “hello angel” no matter how much of a twit you feel. How do you react? Do you feel a response? ‘Imagine’ an answer? See something? …
If you want to, you can go into interaction with it. ‘If you want to’ are the key words. Remember; we have our own free will here. If you don’t want to. your angel isn’t allowed to be pushy.
Maybe you would like to draw it or just sit with it a while. Breathe gently and say out loud “I would like to get to know you.” 8 words that can be the beginning of something special. Something you never dreamed of, or something you have forgotten about.
If you find it really difficult, or impossible, don’t force yourself, maybe you are not quite ready yet. However, if you wish you could feel something give yourself time and sit and wait as you would for a shy bird to come closer. Except you are the shy bird – your angel will feel you and take time – the time you need to become aware of it.
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Please get a pen and paper now and write “There is an angel in my room…” and see what words come to mind, w o r d for w o r d . Do not judge what comes. Write till you stop and then read it out loud to yourself afterwards. If you can speak more than one language try a foreign one – it is sometimes easier to do imaginative work in a language other than your mother tongue as your mind can’t take over as easily. If you would like to share your ‘story’ then please do so.
Here is what I wrote, you may read it after you have written your own words… or if you can’t do the exercise see the following as a message from your angel to you if you like. Mine is quite happy to share and so am I!
There is an angel in my room with wings of golden, satin thread. They shimmer like a golden spider’s web in the rising sun. It is standing in front of me, it is standing on the other side of the room, it is standing right behind me with its hand on my shoulder. Its presence is almighty and everywhere. It is so warm and loving it makes me cry a little.
There is an angel in my room, the temperature on this cold, winter morning is immediately a few degrees warmer, I can feel the glow. If I let it be everywhere the glow comes from all sides.
“Hello angel. I know you are there.” Silence. I wait. My eyes wander from object to object in my room; the amaryllis on my window sill, a pretty candle holder that I love, a sculpture, my teddy bear, the snowy mountain outside my window, the wooden Christmas tree decoration, another plant…”Angel where are you?”
“Here”
“Where?”
“Here, there and everywhere and in your heart”
“In my heart?”
“Yup”
“How can that be? You are much too big to fit in my heart.”
I hear my angel laugh. “Oh! You’d be surprised, there are things I can do, places I can be that you never even dreamed of. Feel me. Go on! Feel into my heart”
“’My’ heart? You mean ‘your’ heart!”
“No matter, go on and don’t forget to breathe. You forget to breathe so often Nick, you don’t let yourself ‘be breathed’. You wrote earlier of not believing in God as a child. By not believing in God you cut yourself off from the source that breathes you. Not that you really can, it is impossible, but an instance in you said ‘no’ to it all and cut itself off. You still do not get enough oxygen into your body, you are disconnected from source through your breathing. Take time to hold your ring finger for a while … (please hold it for a few minutes).
Now make a mudra: left hand thumb on nearest side of ring finger nail, right hand thumb on nearest side of middle finger nail and sit a while and breathe like that. This connects you to source… I will sit by you whilst you do it … a few minutes later …
I am like a cloak on your shoulders, I am like a sturdy friend at your side. You are NEVER alone, do you hear, you are never alone. And as to whether I am an angel or another benevolent being – that is of no consequence right now. Just let me be, know that I am far greater than the ‘small you’ can ever be and love to be with me if you can. Love the idea of warmth, of protection, of friendship, of love. Give yourself this gift today and every day. It is a precious one I can assure you.
Play with your fingers and see what positions your hands want to make themselves. Mudras are powerful tools to connect you with the universe. The true, loving universe and not a distorted, sad idea that may be lurking in your mind. This is a wonderful place my love, a wonderful place. Sink into the feeling of security with me at, in your side and breathe as you go through the day. Now share this with others on facebook etc.
Even if you only reach one other person you will have done something very special today. Start with yourself.”
The Sentient Garden 